How to save a marriage after separating from your partner?
The bond of marriage is considered prestigious, sacred, and divine. It is when two people take vows to be together for each other through thick and thin. While the feeling of love is heavenly, it is not always very easy to sustain a happily ever after. The warmth of your relationship, depth of your connection, and togetherness can never be replaced. However, dysfunctional marriages often lead to a spiral of downfall that leads to separation and even divorce. The separation phase is one of the harshest phases of a couple’s life since it is where you are constantly battling your emotions to stay or leave.
Fortunately, separation gives the spouses enough time and space to think about their lovers and bring back the reminiscent memories of the old times. This dream can come true if you put in efforts to make love viable for you and your loved ones. Yet, there must be multiple questions in your mind to take a step towards reconciliation. Am I making the right decision? Is it possible to get my marriage together? Are all my efforts futile? Is it my partner’s fault? Is it my fault? With all these questions in mind, you ultimately have one goal. This goal is to rekindle your marital bond and make it viable for happiness again. Here are the top 15 reconciliation tips to save your marriage after separation.
Top Reconciliation Tips to save a marriage after separation:
- Don’t rush things:
The first rule of every relationship is to give each other space and time. Many people feel overwhelmed by situations and decide to leave the scene altogether. Understand the feelings of your partner and give them the time they need to think clearly.
- Think about the root issue:
Two people separate for several reasons; however, very few realize that there is always a root cause to the separation. Understanding the root issue of the problem is the key to solving it. Thus, you need to analyze what contributed to the distance between you and your loved one. You can understand this cause in several ways as stated ahead.
- Talk to them to discuss:
Massive disputes can be resolved if people sit together and discuss. Discussions can provide a clearer picture of the complications in the relationship and help find a reasonable solution. Make your partner understand that mutual communication can lead to a positive way for your relationship and bring greater good to the two of you.
- Resolve the conflict together:
The next tip is to resolve the issue together as a team. Think of yourselves as two captains of a ship. You both need to coordinate, align, and work together to make the best out of this conflicted situation. Thus, after analyzing the root problem, you both have to find alternative solutions.
- Be expressive with your partner:
Many couples distance themselves from their spouse after separation. However, being expressive with your partner can turn things around. Show how you feel and make them understand what led to this situation. You should be open to them about your concerns and opinions while willingly understanding their decisions.
- Control anger problems:
What is the most common response to a dispute? Aggression. Anger and rage can crack the pillars of a household. A lot of bad decisions come in anger and frustration. When talking to your partner, be polite and understanding. Try to control your anger and be understanding in the situation.
- Look ahead together:
If you are looking forward to a better future, you are already on the right track. Talk with your partner and plan a future that you both feel happy about. Make sure you both are on the same page in bringing about a change in your lives. Consider this change as an opportunity to start your life with a new buzz together.
- Forgive each other:
Most partners separate because they grudge each other. These negative sentiments grow gradually and seep through your hearts permanently. Try to ignore what has happened and bring about positive changes in your life. A forgiving relationship can have a massive impact on the trust levels, communication, and compassion for each other.
- Prioritize your marriage:
If you are looking forward to a bond that stays forever, prioritize your marriage above everything. You and your spouse are at the brisk of divorce, and it is now that you decide for yourselves. Give time to your wedding and work together to make a difference.
- Be empathic and compassionate:
Two partners can love and rely on each other if they are empathic with one another. Try to listen to your partner as an active listener. Make them understand that you care about their concerns. Show compassion to whatever they have to say. Resultantly, your partner will listen to your perspective and be willing to make efforts for you too.
- Show respect to their perspective:
As stated earlier, it is critical to appreciate and respect your partner’s perspective. You do not have to agree with what they say, but you have to listen to them. Even if you have counterarguments, make them seem like a suggestion, not an argument.
- Start seeing each other again:
Most separated couples become hesitant to restart seeing each other again. The fear of losing the love you once had spikes up and makes it difficult to view things. Start with occasional dates and keep seeing your partner make them realize you think of them.
- Relive the happier times:
Remember the times you went out, watched your favorite movie, or planned a vacation to the beach. Relive those moments with your partner and make an impact on them. Relishing the good experiences from the past can make you realize the significance of each other and bring back your lost love.
- Seek help:
However, if you cannot make a difference in your marriage, you can also seek professional help. Various psychiatrists, couple therapists, etc., provide the right amount of support to help you go through the process.
So, to surmount this turmoil in your relationship, it is necessary, to begin with, a fresh start. Be optimistic about the future and make all the best efforts to function effectively. However, one must remember that marriage is a two-way bond. If you are the only one making efforts, you might want to take some time off and think if this relationship is worth saving. Make the best decision for your life.
Amanda Love is a marriage consultant and a relation advisor. She is a lawyer by profession that mainly deals in the issues related to marriage, divorce and physical abuse.