Four Reasons Why a Relationship Fails A Detailed Informative Guide
A couple of relationships is something wonderful but at the same time very difficult to carry, since the factors that come into play, both internal and external, are very high. Balance is important and is not always achieved. Currently, nearly forty percent of marriages end in divorce, and breakups are more than frequent among unmarried couples.
Failing relationships are the cause of many stress problems and unhappiness in life. What is interesting about the case is that most of these relationships fail for the same reasons. Knowing them is a good way to deal with problems and also to know how to deal with a relationship to make it successful and lasting.
Do you want to know the most common reasons why romantic relationships often fail? You will find them below.
What is Being Done Wrong?
The truth is that each relationship is a world, but if both do not care about themselves, that commitment, altruism, and the will to change and grow together, there is little future. It is essential to forget about the “I” to talk about the “we” as the central focus of life. Engaged couples survive the ups and downs, the hard times, but you have to work it out. Here are four symptoms that indicate a relationship fails. If you recognize yourself in any of them, it is time to get down to work to change it.
Egoism is based on focusing only on our particular needs and not thinking about the other person when making important decisions or the typical day-to-day interaction. If you don’t commit to household chores or childcare, your partner will start to feel resentful and feel neglected. On the other hand, narcissism is a personality disorder that encompasses several characteristics, including lack of empathy for others and manipulation to achieve particular benefits.
When relationships are unbalanced because one of the parties is the priority, the couple ends up fracturing, basically because the agreements on which the relationship is built no longer exist. So you have to learn to work and deal with all the aspects in common, forgetting about the personal benefits and looking for the common ones, learning to be grateful towards the couple, and beginning to express it often, both in word and in the acts of the day to day tasks.
2. Do not make the relationship a priority
This is a problem that often occurs, especially in couples who have not yet entered into marriage, or who are in their infancy. The education we receive does not teach us how to have a relationship, nor does anyone tell us that it takes work to grow it and that it requires a lot of commitment. It is something that you learn from day to day, and some people do not learn it, or who need more time to assimilate it. And when the children have not yet arrived, perhaps it is even more complicated.
If you don’t have time for sexual intimacy, the desire ends up leaving. If you do not stop to talk to your partner about what your hopes, your desires, and your dreams are, each time you will begin to be more distant. If you don’t spend time doing recreational activities together, you will start to have separate lives.
And there will come a time when nothing unites you.
For all these reasons, it is important to find time to talk to the couple, listen to their stories, their day to day gossips, and be supportive. And sometimes the simplest things are enough: taking a walk, cycling, signing up for a cooking class or ballroom dancing together helps the couple to be above everything.
3. Outbursts of Fury
Resolved discussions and controlled expressions of anger are normal parts of a healthy relationship. But the screaming and the indiscriminate attacks of fury are something else, and they damage a relationship a lot. Couples who are not comfortable with themselves start arguments, turn to anger, accusations from one side to the other, and negative comments. The saying that “whoever loves you well will make you suffer” is very true. And it is that many times we have the habit of paying with the closest person for our problems, and we know how to reach his jugular to do damage.
Couples today have to deal with many issues – job stress, bills, mortgage, bosses, responsibilities for looking after the house and children – and it is easy to find imbalances. When they arrive, we must be aware of what is happening, stop to think, breathe and, before paying with the person we love the most, tell them that for one reason or another, we are having a bad time and that they help us. More than adding gasoline to the fire, you have to add water.
In this way, we will avoid damaging the relationship, and on top of that, we will be able to strengthen it, to the extent that we make our partner help us, support, and comfort us.
Trust is the foundation on which any relationship is built. Breaking this trust is like creating a big crack in that cement base, causing the house to fall apart sooner or later. Approximately 19% of men and 12.3% of women have acknowledged that, at some point, they have had sex outside of their marriages, according to a 2012 University of Denver study.
And it’s not just sex that can harm a relationship, little flirtations, or flirting online can also harm a relationship. Mainly because, taking up error number two, they lead the couple to stop being a priority, and unconsciously, we end up distancing ourselves.
So a couple must be aware of both their needs and that their actions have consequences not only on a single person but on the couple. It is necessary to assume responsibilities and, again, think about the “we” before the “me.”
Amanda Love is a marriage consultant and a relation advisor. She is a lawyer by profession that mainly deals in the issues related to marriage, divorce and physical abuse.