My Husband’s Anger is Ruining Our Marriage | What Should I Do?
“Married life is not for the faint hearted. Sometimes it can look like an ugly battlefield”
When people get married, they are fully excited and hopeful for their future life. But sometimes that hope and excitement get disappointed if things go differently. Once you found that you married to an angry husband. And if you think that if the angriness of your husband will ruin your Marriage, then you should take some serious measures to counter your husband’s behavior and solving the situations that cause such anger to save your relationship.
Table of Content
By calm down yourself, giving respect to your spouse, be supportive, search for the best solution to this tension, avoid blaming, addressing your point of view at the right time, and last but not least Influence your partner by creating a positive environment. With all of these steps, you can manage your husband’s anger and make your marital life successful.
It is a well-known fact that we could not control other people, things we can do are, control ourselves, our emotions, our actions, and behavior. And when you do things in the right direction they surely create a positive impact on other people in a constructive way. So, it is always better to react in a batter way or convey certain signals to express your emotions instead of stopping your husband to not do anger on you. You can perform certain actions at the time of conflict to give some sense of control in such a rational situation.
Following you will find most result-oriented relationship advice you should do when you think “my husband’s anger is ruining our marriage”.
Steps You Should Adopt When Your Husband is Angery
1- Stay Calm When Your Husband is Angry
This is the most effective behavior you should adopt when your husband gets anger. If you anger back on your husband in a similar way, things might get worse which leads to destroying your relationship. It is good and pretty effective to calm down your husband’s anger and bring him towards your states of mind. To attain such an effective approach, you should pay attention to your heart rate, heartbeat, your breathing, and relax as much as possible.
check out below short video about how to deal with your angry husband when you think it might ruin your marital life. A very effective step by step guide from a relationship expert a relationship coach “Kristin” in this video. Make sure you listen to this complete video to learn fast.
Source: Kristin Coaching
2- You Should be Respectful
Yeah, it is really hard to deal with an angry husband, because at that time your husband might yelling, disrespect you, saying mean things, and even shouted at you. But you have to be respectful and do not yell at your husband back. This creates an extremely positive effect on your husband and he might start realizing that he is doing wrong to you. So it is very important to be respectful to avoid conflict in your relationship when your husband is in anger mood.
3- Be Supportive
You should realize why your husband is getting angry. So you need to find that thing/cause and start resolving the tension between both of you. By communicating and by saying like, “I see you are really upset now I am sorry for that, I want to be able to help you, Please calm down it is not good for your health”. In this way, you can show your supportive attitude against your husband’s annoying behavior. Which hopefully cool down your husband’s anger a bit.
Sometimes it is important to give respect and importance to others just like you want for yourself.
“That’s what a good wife does, keeps your dreams alive even when you don’t believe anymore”
Michael J. Sullivan
4- De-Escalate Emotionally and Be Solution Focused
In dealing with the angry husband, the demeanor of emotion is more effective and essential from what you speak, and it is unwise to get mad in an argument because it will make things even worse. The better thing to do is to keep engaging your spouse by saying something like “What we should do to resolve this?” or “What can we do in this situation? Move on and find a resolution so we can be happy“. So, be solution-focused and dialogue with your husband in a polite way to find the solution to the dispute can be resolve.
It would help if you believed that you and your family also need a happy and better life and always passionate about achieving it.
Note: Do you know the divorce rate in the United States of America has significantly drooped in the last 10 years. All this happen because people are getting familiar with these marriage relationship saving tips that encourage them to continue their marriages.
Source: United States Census Bureau
5- The Dilemma of Angry Outbursts
To deal with the anger from anyone is different, but handling anger of your husband is different, and to deal with it, you feel like a complete torment. Because you always try to keep the wrath of the husband from swamping the whole family. In most people, the capability to resolve the conflict is inferior, and yet it is the fundamental skill that every spouse should master. Persistent in fighting and bickering or the other issue of arguing will eventually put a lot of pressure, which will ultimately lead it to crumble. So the fundamental thing to resolve the conflict is to learn the fight resolution.
To stay in a relationship with a person who is resentful and angry, the best thing to do is change your course or try to change his. There are four essential things listed that many obstruct the goal.
- Identify the Victim
- Blaming Conditionally
- Negative Acknowledgement
6- Avoid Blaming
In a fight, do not blame each other or do not blame your husband for his actions, which made you feel bad. Because blaming the husband will do no good instead it, increase the conflict, which is already at the burning position. But your thing is to put the fire out. Always be assertive and respectful because when you take responsibility and try not to escalate the situation, it will make your partner thing effectively and take their responsibilities.
Sometimes if you are dealing with amphetamine with the addition of anger and resentment, it will create a sense of blame on yourself and self-doubt by crashing the surge of strength. According to the law of liability, in a fit of anger, the responsibility everything goes to a person who is closet to the angry person.
7- Evade Parenting Your Husband
The thing that your husband doesn’t want from you is to parent him and absolutely not to scold him, and especially avoid it in front of others, and This will escalate the condition. If you treat your husband like a child, it will only affect you as a backfire and also on the relation. Deal the situation with patience because it will work as an antidote in anger for you and your partner as well. The patience will make you more cooperative and will find positive energy among you. So that’s why you have to be compassionate in-front of your spouse.
There are many cases when people misdiagnosed by partner therapists by the Disorder of Narcissistic Personality. It is the major mistake to diagnose the person who is rooted to resentfulness and anger. In fact, from the study point of view, every person is Narcissistic whenever they get angry or resentful. Even in smaller anger, every person feels essential and also feels like they are entitled. Everyone has a sense of incorrect behavior of confidence.
9- Address Your Point at the Right Time
The awareness state of your partner may be gone when they are in anger state, and their emotional state is charged highly. To address your point when things calm down has some point in it. Always give time the negative energy to diminish to rational discussion. After things get handled, then make a discussion with your partner about his behavior. Because at that time, they are more often close to listen and understand their mistakes. You can also test the thing by applying it to yourself. When you are angry, take time calm down because anger will fuel the passion, and most contrarily, calmness will promote a calmer atmosphere.
10- Influence Your Partner
Don’t ever think about changing your partner because you can’t, and you never will, but the thing you can do is influence your partner and manifest your position. By creating a positive environment, you can impact on your partner, which is closer to cooperate than to control. You may have caught the phrase that “With Honey, you can catch more flies then using Vinegar.” If you use the sweet behavior and try to bring closure to yourself, this will increase the chances of productive outcomes.
“The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the soundness of a relationship.”
Final Thoughts About: My Husband’s Anger is Ruining Our Marriage
To conclude, if you are worried that your husband’s anger is ruining your marriage, you simply take the above mentioned result-oriented step to bring ease into your relationship. We know it is hard to survive such worst situations when your husband often gets angry. But, with the help of these simple steps like calm down yourself when he gets angry, giving respect to your spouse, be supportive with him in his bad behavior, finding the solution to ease down the tension, avoid blaming your husband, and lastly by spending some quality time with him to create a positive environment where he can feel he did bad to you. By following these simple steps you can not only save your marriage but can bring change into your husband’s behavior.
Lucy White is a Digital Media Executive by profession and also love to write about social media. She is also interested in research related to facts and figures about social media.