How to End a Codependent Relationship
What is Codependency in a Relationship
Codependency is an illness, a sickness. Codependency in any relationship can cause many problems. It is a state where one person in a relationship is dependent upon the other. A state where one person is badly addicted to the other. A state where your partner acts clingy and wants your attention all the time. Codependency has a very negative impact on a healthy relationship.
However, it’s not just that. Codependency in any relationship is more than just wanting attention and acting clingy. It can actually make things worse. A codependent individual’s self-worth depends upon approval from his partner.
Codependency in any relationship can be both one way and two way. One way codependency is when one person totally depends on the other person constantly wants attention and strives to satisfy the needs of partners. Two-way codependency is when the other person becomes addicted to this behavior of their partner and they like being wanted by their partner.
What Leads to Codependency?
According to research, people who have been emotionally abused in their childhood are more likely to enter into a codependent relationship. These kids are taught in their childhood to sacrifice their own desires to please their parents. Later, when they are grown up, they repeat the same behavior with their partner.
Growing up with a single parent can also lead to codependency in the future. If a person is living with a mentally ill person, it can also develop the traits of codependency into that person. Broken marriages are another reason. If the family is abusive towards the child, it hurts the personality even in the future.
How to Know that You are in a Codependent Relationship
Codependency leads to an abusive relationship. It not only affects the mental health of a person but also his or her physical health. Codependency can give rise to many other issues like alcoholism, drug addiction, and gambling. A person knows that he or she is in a codependent relationship when;
- His happiness, pleasure, joy, and satisfaction depends on the significant other. When a person can never be truly happy without their partner.
- A person dislikes some of the behaviors or attitudes of their partner, but they still choose to stick around them. Because they know they won’t survive without them.
- A person puts his own mental and physical health at stake to provide constant support to his partner.
- A person considers himself responsible for the happiness of his partner, for specific behaviors exhibited by them, and even for their mistakes.
- A person needs continuous approval from their partner.
- A person fears being left out by their partner. Therefore they are always willing to do as their partners say to make them stay.
Sometimes other people also observe partners and let them know if they are in a codependent relationship. A person in a codependent relationship spends a lot of time in either trying to change their partner or they strive to comply with their partner’s desires. A codependent person lets the other person have an impact on his or her behavior and wishes to control another person’s behavior.
How to Heal from Codependency
You might not want to end the codependent relationship because you love your partner. It is important to heal from codependency in such a situation. To heal from it, start doing things that please you, not what you think would be liked by others. Start living for yourself. Put your needs and desires before that of others. And do not sacrifice your needs to gain approval from others.
Do not let negative thoughts affect your mental and physical health. Always think positive and do not settle for anything less. Know your own self-worth.
Take a little break from your partner. Give them and yourself some time. Hang out with your friends, and do not let anything impact your personality. Try to give up on your habits of dependency.
Ending a Codependent Relationship
A codependent relationship is where one person continuously strives to make the other person happy and satisfied, and the other person feels overwhelmed by this behavior of their partner. But unfortunately, this feeling doesn’t last long and one person starts feeling pitiful or taken for granted. The only solution for a codependent relationship is to end it. However, ending a codependent relationship is not very easy.
Ending a codependent relationship can trigger various feelings of being unloved. It lowers the self-esteem of the codependent person. The person constantly fears that no one is ever going to love them and they will be left out. After ending things, the person might constantly have feelings of abandonment.
Some of the habits of the codependent person make it very hard to end the relationship. A codependent person is always trying to please other people, despite their own wishes. He puts aside his own interests, hobbies and always focuses on the partner’s desires. This trait makes it very hard to end the relationship. The person thinks he won’t survive without his partner and therefore chooses to stick around them in the name of love.
Ending codependency means setting boundaries. As a codependent person does not like saying no. But he should always know when to reject something. Therefore, it is always crucial to set boundaries. This way, your partner will also know how to act and react in certain situations. If you set boundaries, your partner will know your worth and respect your decisions.
Have a calm and clear conversation with your partner. You need to put forward all your needs and desires in front of your partner. Tell them what you want and how to do you like things to happen in the future. If they still disagree and continue to expect things done in their way, it is time you get yourself away from this relationship.
Conclusion about Ending a Codependent Relationship:
Although we never recommend ending any relationship. But in some severe cases, it becomes necessary for us to end a relationship. In this complete guide, we have mentioned some best ways to end a codependent relationship. I hope you will find these tips useful for you.
Lucy White is a Digital Media Executive by profession and also love to write about social media. She is also interested in research related to facts and figures about social media.